The Tragedy Academy
July 11, 2022

Bobby Maximus


This episode we welcome professional fighter, Bobby Maximus, to the show. A long-time friend of Gary's, the two first met on the set of The Ultimate Fighter years ago and discuss their shared experience on the show. Bobby also shares his experience of growing up in a community that focused on generosity and acts of service - he credits this upbringing as the source of his philosophy today: kindness is what makes the world go 'round. Living out his dreams, pursuing his hobbies - regardless of what other people think - Bobby challenges all of us to live our best and chase our goals without fear.

Episode Highlights

😍 Go after what you want

☀️ Live every day like it is your last

💰 Define your own success

☮️ The opposite of regret is peace

💖 Change the world with kindness

😎 It's cool to be a nerd


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The Tragedy Academy is a show created to bridge societal divides in a judgment-free zone using candor and humor. 

Be cool. Keep Learning.


Introduction  0:01  
Welcome to the tragedy Academy, where you are the teacher, and we are the students. Together, we will learn from past tragedy to lay the foundation for a better humanity. The only supplies you'll need an open mind and a sense of humor. So, tilt that chair back, talk out of turn, and never raise your hand. Because this is the tragedy Academy and classes in session. Not pure A scholar.

Jay  0:30  
Super excited about this before we even start anything. Thanks so much man for coming on. I genuinely I know you're friends with Gary. And this is something that you know, you guys have known us since Christ was a corporal. But I just want to tell you, myself, I appreciate you for coming on here. And

Bobby  0:45  
thank you, I appreciate it. It's a lot.

Gary  0:47  
It's been We were together for six weeks, but never saw each other really. So this it was odd to study stroke constantly going, but it's good to it's, uh, inspires a lot of people. You know, like, I'm almost as old as him. And I could barely like, wipe my ass some days from working out for 10 minutes. So all right, I gotta step it up to it's hard not to be motivated, which is good. Be like doing shit better since I met you. So it's good. Good.

Jay  1:15  
You're sorry. I'm not trying to not pay attention here. All right. So is there anything that you don't want to discuss? Just because I like to make sure

Bobby  1:22  
I mean, you can ask me anything. If I don't like the question. I'll tell you to fuck off. And if

sweet, we're good. We're good.

Jay  1:27  
I like that. It's easier that way.

Gary  1:29  
He knew that is Canadian.

Bobby  1:30  
Yeah, here's here's the deal, though. For real, I don't think you should pursue because this drives me nuts with my NBA guys. And like actors and stuff. If you want to pursue a life in the public eye. You can't pick and choose what you'd be public about. Like you can you can you can actually I shouldn't say that. You can pick and choose but you can't be mad when people ask the question.

Jay  1:49  
Can't unseasoned soup either. Yeah, once you get it out there, it's it's in the mix.

Bobby  1:54  
Yeah, like you can't get sick. It's too bad. So if you're if you're a WWE superstar, you go out for dinner and a kid asks you for an autograph, like, sign the autograph, like it's or you have enough money, booked the restaurant out completely and go private or have takeout in your home. Like you have options if your money's being made from the public. I guess.

Gary  2:10  
There's exceptions, though. Like people should not let their kids roll up someone like mid meal, like on a date, like

Bobby  2:16  
we own it. No, I get you. Right. You also know if you're the most famous movie star in the world, that's going to happen. So if you don't want it to happen, like take some precautions to make sure it

Gary  2:25  
does not screw

Jay  2:25  
it. I honestly I like Well, first Welcome to the tragedy Academy a show created to bridge societal divides in a judgment free zone using candor and humor, I think to this point that if you're authentically pursuing what you truly love, you would never walk away from somebody that was giving you some kind of accolade for what it is that you're doing, because it is the most important and the happiest part of your life and you want to share it, I think, I think that if an actor puts up a wall, unless it's some kind of special situation, they're not likely not authentically pursuing what it is that they truly love, because they wouldn't be shutting other people out from their experience. Well, the other

Bobby  3:05  
thing is, is now you're talking about making money and pursuing fame versus a love of acting. Here's something I've argued for a while if you're doing acting for the love of acting, you can act for your family, you can rent out a theater and do stuff for your friends. Like there are ways to do it, where you're not pursuing fame. The minute you start pursuing fame, the public's paying your bills, the public's putting money in your pocket, you're doing it for some type of performance art, I think there comes an expectation that if you want to become the most famous person in the world, that you're on stage 24/7 365 unless you remove yourself from the public, like I know, for example, I want to get into acting. I know right now that if I want to become like the rock, there's things that come along with it. I'm not stupid guy. I'm aware that my privacy is going to shrink. I can make the decision as an intelligent adult right now to go down that road or not. Because again, if I just want to do it, because I love acting, I can perform plays in front of my kids, and it

Jay  4:00  
feels just as good if not better, it should feel better. Before we move on, I guess I should introduce you Bobby Maximus is here with us today. My name is Jay. Welcome to the tragic atomia show created to bridge societal divides in a judgment free zone. Gary is here today. What's going on, man? How you guys doing live in the dream. Gary's friend Bobby Maximus and today Gary, you want to introduce your friend here?

Gary  4:20  
Yeah, so me and Bobby go way back. Bob is a professional fighter. We met on season two of The Ultimate Fighter in what 2005? Probably. Yeah. We were young and both had hair back then. And Bobby was on this last season at 43 years old, the oldest contestant we've ever had season 30 of The Ultimate Fighter. i For those that don't know, I'm the executive producer of that show. Been there for about 19 years now. And yeah, me and Bobby go way back. I sat through six hours of surgery with him back in the day and we've stayed in touch and he was relentless about getting his shot back on the show and there was so many obstacles and he just wasn't going to be denied it was it was something impressive to watch because there was multiple times where he was told by powers that be there's no chance and he just never heard that. And he made it in think that's a you know, it's a good you're good role model to have first like hitting our mid 40s type of guys that kind of feel like shit, maybe there's a bunch of shit we can't do anymore. Obviously there's a few things, but there's a lot of stuff we could still do. If we just go do it. So yeah, I'm like, I got to share it. I don't see the genius

Jay  5:29  
thing that let's let's read that for all of us out there and podcasts on the genius thing that we did was we didn't give up. I couldn't agree more with that. And one of the things that I wanted to start out with is the word action because I was looking back through the things that you've done, you know, throughout your career and your life. And I saw so many different paths, so many different roles, so many different accomplishments, and we could list them off for days. But what I saw more than anything else was you never sat still, there was always action. And can you tell me where that action comes from? In body Maximus?

Bobby  6:02  
Yeah, I think for me, it's I learned a lot when my dad died. My dad was my best friend. When I grew up. I wasn't popular, I didn't have a lot of friends. And so I hung out with my dad, his friends. My dad died when I was 20. And not only did lose my dad, I lost my best friend, I lost my social network, it was really difficult. And one thing all we stopped from me from losing my dad, my dad died at 49, which is young. Like to put that in perspective. I'm 43 right now, I could literally drop dead six years. And so you don't have a lot of time, which is it's a very interesting concept, because we always assume we've got one more day, one more week, we've got one more year. Now on top of that I was a police officer. And when I was a cop, you'd be shocked or surprised the amount of people that die like you go to a sudden death call every day as a police officer. And I'm not talking from murders or like car accidents. I'm talking someone slips and falls down the stairs and they die. They this happens to middle aged men, they go out in the backyard to do landscaping, it's to pot they overexert themselves. They drop dead the human being is completely fragile. And so starting in my 20s When my dad died, once I got through the anger, the misery and the self loathing all the stuff that goes along with losing a loved one, I decided that the best way to live my life was to just go after what I want. And that's again, taking action living everyday like it's your last name not literally like

Jay  7:23  
gotcha, you're not, you know, streaking, you know, the baseball field every other day, because it might be your last one that hits your

Gary  7:32  
face, right? There's like on my last day of showing everyone my nuts

Jay  7:36  
go big go home.

Bobby  7:38  
But I'm not talking about doing anything crazy. When I started asking myself the question, why not instead of why. So when I would go to do something, hey, I want to get into acting, hey, I want to write for men's health. I want to fight to get in the UFC. Rather than say, Why would I do that? I would say why not like what what's going to be the harm in just trying this or just going after it. And just by having that attitude, I've opened myself up to so many possibilities. You know,

Jay  8:05  
that's an amazing point. And one of the things I'd like to piggyback on that is that we tend to design ourselves or grow to a mold that has been given to us. And in all these different jobs or these different things. It's proven that we're pliable, and that we have the ability to be anything that we truly want to be in life, we there are no limits, except for the physical at some point will hold you back from being able to do something. But aside from that, I feel like all limitations are a mold that are issued from birth by your selected group. And that you will, you will perform within that with those limitations until somebody removes that from above you like a human Bundt cake, you know, and gives you the chance to actually expand and grow to what you were originally intended to be. And that's anything, I think that you're a prime example of that is that you can go out and actually enjoy the human experience.

Bobby  8:53  
Well here. Here's an example. I always say that self imposed limitations. It's a glass cage, we build around ourselves a lot of limits that we have our self imposed. Now let's talk about podcasting because we're on a podcast. Sure you like listening to Joe Rogan. You like listening to to Dan Patrick, you like listening to I mean, whoever has the biggest podcast in the world, I don't know who it is, but you like podcasts and you want to start one a lot of people will come up with a list of reasons why they shouldn't do

Jay  9:18  
it. That's what we always start life

Bobby  9:21  
where we start right

Gary  9:23  
yeah, and it's best just to phone Yeah, you have this you can

Bobby  9:27  
make a podcast I'm looking at your set, you have the logo on the wall that doesn't cost that much to get one printed out. So rather than start asking you to start you know, asking yourself why would do this? Why not the logo cost 10 bucks. I already have this box, whatever it was, I can download whatever on you know Spreaker or iTunes or whatever your you know, whatever your podcast housing just loves what

Jay  9:50  
you're talking about and love the process. Yeah, like just go for

Bobby  9:53  
it and try it and you know what, it might turn out to be good it might not but if you love what you're doing and you have fun, you're going wanting to be able to, you know, at some level be successful, but we have to define what success is. If you're doing it truly I like what you said earlier, if you're doing it because you love it, success is just doing the thing. It's not winning or losing. It's not measured in downloads. It's not measured in ad revenue. Correct. Ah, you're successful because you're doing something you

Jay  10:18  
love. One of the greatest examples that I've heard on the show, this was something that we discussed when Matthew Schiele was on and it was a meme that he had come across recently, that was a minor, it was like a side view, where you can see him mining through this cave alone with like, his little light on pickaxe, and right beyond like the next two or three picks was gold, and you see him turn around and leave, even though he was only a few picks from the gold. And one of the takeaways from that that we were discussing was that it wasn't the fact that he should have just kept going a little further it was the fact that he should have just loved mining and he shouldn't have been going after somebody else's gold the moment that you're not loving the mining process, you're not mining it for the gold, you're mining you know, you have to love your glove the process itself gotta can't even spit that out, right?

Bobby  11:04  
Yeah. And if you love it, then you're a winner. Oh, right, like society. Winners and losers in like wins, losses, points scored, downloads money, like whatever that is. But I know some of the most successful people in the world by those standards, and they go to bed miserable every night. I did, they're unhappy. I also know people who paint who write poetry, who spit freestyles, who work out who have podcasts that you've never heard of, that are the happiest people in the world, because they're fulfilled. So for me, I've just learned to redefine failure and success and if I'm happy doing it, and it's through the process of chasing my dreams, that I'm winning every day like I mean this if I die tonight, I will die knowing that I couldn't sit still that I don't have regrets that I'm chasing the things that I mean embrace Vic, godless what any other person could think or say about Yeah,

Jay  11:57  
I think you're you're you're describing the antithesis to the I am a victim, I am this persona. I am all of these flaws. I am every reason that I can't be you and you are everything that I won't muster up within myself to actually pull through and accomplish something. I think we see it all the time, you're what you're describing is the opposite of a person that has said, I am a victim and everybody should feel sorry for me. And in this victimhood, I don't have to do anything except for be a victim of circumstance. And I can tell everybody else, they're bad at what they're doing. Because that's a fuck ton easier than it is stepping over my own trash and moving on on my own, so much easier. It's easy. And everything we hate everybody's floor is the things that we won't do within ourselves. And what

Bobby  12:47  
it comes down to is regret I think regrets the wound feeling in the world, you know, being 50 years old, and looking back on your life and thinking maybe I could have done this, maybe I should have tried this. I'm miserable where I am. What if I would have just done it. You see, here's what happens when you take actionable steps to deal with regret proactively. There's something I really want to do. I don't know what it is. It could be acting, it could be a podcast, it could be fighting in the UFC, it could be you know, trying to make the NBA. And there's a little voice that constantly tells me you want to do this, you want to do this, but I keep denying it. And I sit on my couch filled with regret and spite. Like I said earlier, self loathing, that's the worst feeling in the world. So if I actually get up off my ass and try what are the potential outcomes? Well, one potential outcome is I become Joe Rogan. The next potential outcome is I make the NBA nother potential outcome is I win season 30, The Ultimate Fighter, so maybe I'm successful. The other potential outcome is I fall on my face, and I fail, I don't get anywhere that to me, though it's not a failure, it's still a success, because I try. And in the process of failing, I found peace, which is the opposite of regret, which is the greatest feeling in the world yet. So if I tried something like me going on the Ultimate Fighter season 31 or two things is going to happen, I'm going to win, and I'm going to be successful, or I'm going to lose, and I'm going to be successful, because now I find peace. And there are people like I mentioned earlier that are worth millions, 10s of millions, hundreds of millions, billions of dollars, they don't have peace, and there's no amount of money in their bank account that can buy it. So if you have something that you can do to find peace, it's literally in value. It's what

Jay  14:27  
you were created to do. So one of the core parts of this show is authenticity. And I always say that, if you you created one way and to be anything but that creation is a slap in the face and disrespectful to whatever whomever made you because you're perfect already. We give ourselves all of those contradictions to success and happiness and all those things just from from within our own mind. And I think that when you pursue action and those items, you're actually you're being mindful with the time that you have that we're aware of, rather than living in The past and the future and things that don't exist

Gary  15:02  
yet, it's a lot of it's where you grew up in environments you come from, and, you know, with the internet and access to more people, now it's different growing up, you know, in the 80s, we had no role models outside of our inner circle. So if you grew up with people that weren't pushing you, or didn't believe in you, you know, it would be tough. You know, everybody around where I was from was told they're not going to be shit, my mom didn't tell me that I was going to be the shit every day in my life, like, I would have not been shipped, you know, like, you better join the army or fucking go get a factory job, or you're going to prison. That was it, like college wasn't even something that people would tell you to do, let alone like, try to chase some kind of dream. And if it wasn't for, like, you know, one person in my life at that point, because I was doing all kinds of everything wrong, and he barely by the skin of my teeth, made it out, just not wanting to disappoint her, you guys would never have saw me because it was a lot easier to just gangbang and, you know, sell dope and fight. And you know, all those, like, the truth be told that she has fun, you know, like feeling fearless and like, live live and like, you don't give a shit like responsibility suck. And when you're young and wild and free, like you can take that too far, you don't have somebody at least like, hey, you know. So I think people need to look for role models, people like Bobby that are on TV now. And you know, they have a platform,

Jay  16:11  
right? I watched your episode, it was amazing. It was I learned, I felt like I was watching in that moment, your show that I was learning from you. And that was the intent of the direction of what I was looking at was it you're you're very charismatic, but you're very honest and authentic in the way that you deliver things. And I kind of want to ask, where does the mentorship drive come from? Because that seems to be a theme within your life is policing and taking care of our community and others? Where does that come from? Yes.

Bobby  16:46  
So I'm from Northern Ontario. I'm from a super small town that nobody's ever heard of. And I'm from a place where people take care of one another, they love one another. It doesn't matter what your skin color is, it doesn't matter what your sexual preference is. You're just a small, tight knit community. And it's from the it's the type of place where if you two showed up at somebody that knew me from when I was a kid, they would invite you in feed you give you a bed to sleep in. It's just the right thing to do to look after other people. So I grew up with two parents that my dad was part of the Lions Club. And he was always doing things for people. Even though we didn't have a lot growing up. My mom was always helping people. So that was always I lived in an environment that was filled with I guess, acts of service. And growing up, I learned you know, by watching my parents that the single greatest thing you can do is positively influence another human being. So now let's talk about the show whether I won or lost, it's not consequential. How I'm portrayed, it's not really consequential. The only thing I care about is that I found my own peace and then be if one man out there if one woman out there found the courage quit the job that they hate to be a better parent to get out of bumper to bumper traffic to maybe be happier to not kill themselves which is something that happens way too often. If one person watched that episode and got that message and changed your life I have done what I'm supposed to do is a human beat. Everyone wants to change the world and they start with things like poverty gun control abortion is in the news right now. They just talk about all these big overarching things that they cannot affect. You want to know how to change the world if every single one of us on this planet just try to be kinder to somebody else just said you know what, it's Friday July the first I'm going to go out and help somebody today maybe it's about a homeless person a sandwich maybe it's to help their neighbor cut the lawn maybe it's they gave money to charity like whatever it is if 8 billion people on this planet did that and then they did it tomorrow and that they did it the next day I promise you all problems in the world would be solved in 30 days like it would literally be that we'll treat

Jay  18:50  
acts of kindness like go into the gym we bitch about it whine about it we want no part of it every single day until when we get there and we do it and we're happy acts of kindness are also I find myself the biggest narcissist when it becomes those are when it comes to acts of kindness because man they feel good there's such a payoff when you see that you positively impacted somebody else's life or that there's some kind of change in their path that is going to you know that was at your hands or your you know, advice and that feels fucking good. It feels so good. And like I said, we'll treat it like the gym. We don't want to go well bitch about it was, you know, I do it. I do it all the time. I gotta you know, well, if one thing falls in front of me, I won't go.

Bobby  19:36  
You know who else was good for that person that you were kind to you don't even realize this that cried themselves to sleep the night before. They had a gun in your mouth the night before. That was like taking the shoelaces out of the chute or hanging themselves the night before. Like you don't know what other people are going through. And so something that's as simple to you is just an act of kindness. You literally might have saved somebody else's life. And so for me, I want I like to help people. And I've also been fortunate, and I'm just going to talk about Gary for a second on the Ultimate Fighter too. That's what stands out to me about when I was on that season was my experience with Gary, Gary really went above and beyond to take care of us all. And I remember that, and it made my experience a lot better. It made me happier, it helped me find peace. It was it was remarkable. And if you asked him, he'd say he's just doing his job. But it was a lot more than that to all of us. And so I've had a lot of people like Gary in my life that have given me something that have helped you. They didn't have to. And I've always been grateful for that. And one of my first fight trainers always said to me, I said, How do I thank you for this? And he said, Just do it for somebody else. Pay it just like and I know it's become cliche, the Pay It Forward thing, but I'm not talking about buying somebody Starbucks coffee that they don't need, just help somebody else if you if you have a minute. And by the way, how often have we all been there, and we have just needed help. Like, I just need some free advice, like how to change the taps in my bathroom, how to look up a light, how to like that I just would have killed for somebody to be there at that moment to help me we've all been there. Yeah. So part of my life's mission is to help other people as much as possible. Yeah,

Gary  21:16  
I agree. I mean, I think for me, I've just seen the struggle of people trying to make it in the fight business, especially when people you know that watch the show for for anybody that's listening, that doesn't watch it 16 fighters will move into a mansion in competing in a tournament, the winner gets a big contract in the UFC, which is their ultimate goal. So people will see like all or they're bitching their type million dollar house and they get all the food, they won all this, like they're also away from their family the way from their friends or away from their kids or dieting, like hell, yeah, there's eating breakfast with the guy, they got to fight in a cage the next day, and like, you know, it's it's a pressure cooker and their whole dreams on the line. And a lot of guys, you know, they don't realize like, if they don't do well, it's not the end of the world. But you also like, if you don't feel like that, like, you're probably not going to do well. So it's like, you got to, you know, you got to help where you can, you know, there's a lot of reality TV people that like to do the other, like, make it more difficult and can play psychological games and get people to break and fold cry and in like, it's more drama, it's, you know, like, I can't do that as a person, you know, and I don't think that's good television, either. The drama is built in, you're fighting in a cage, like you're like, I just want to tell the stories as accurately as I possibly can, and like give the assistance that I can to get people through it. Um, and you know, it's, it's a good job, I get paid a lot of money. I enjoy a lot of things about it. But Kari Matchett is definitely the best part about it. Now, Mike, yes, had an article about me after season 15 His father had died during the season. And I helped him through the whole thing was that season was live. So it was, you know, it was taped, and then they go home and watch it, they chewed it for three days and fights were live on Friday, and was three times as long and you know, his dad had died, he flew got into the house, his dad died right after his fight, he got to watch him win his fight to get into the house on TV and passed away that night booking crazy shit. Um, and he flew home to the funeral. And he came back and like I was sat with them every day, you know, and cried my eyes out with them. And you know, like that, so terrible that that happened to him. But like being able to be there, like, I don't know, if I wasn't there, like how it would have changed experience because he needed someone that cared in that moment. And I just, you know, it was me, I was blessed to have that opportunity to help them through it. And I was read that article, and I'm like, having a bad day, or like, fuck this job or whatever, I've read it 10,000 times, maybe it's just me being a narcissist, you know, but like, that isn't, you know, when I feel like I'm not getting paid enough, or someone screws me out of a job. And you know, something like that. I'm like, it doesn't matter. Like, I got 300 pairs of shoes like I am fine. You know, financially, like that's not more this, there's

Jay  23:48  
nothing wrong with reading that article. Because these random acts of kindness, they're really the first one should be loving yourself, because you're not going to be a whole human to anybody else or affect change. If you're not loving yourself correctly, you're not a full, not a full person. So you have to show yourself the same love that you would show you know anybody else, you have to love your flaws. You have to give yourself all of that respect in order to be able to be effective in your change.

Bobby  24:16  
And since when is it a bad thing to celebrate your wins or to be proud of yourself for something you did or to take pride in the way you conducted yourself? Like we live in a society now where we're supposed to be humble. And what people have taken that to mean is that they're going to be self depreciated that they don't recognize the positive traits in their life, but we need some positivity. So you're damn right. If somebody thinks me in an article, I'm gonna read it. You're damn right. If I do something nice for somebody. I'm going to think positive things about it. Now, I might not blast it all over social media. Like if I buy a homeless person a sandwich. I'm not going to run to my Instagram Stories. Hey, look what I did today, but You're damn right. I can take a minute and feel good about it. What is wrong with feeling good or patting yourself on the back? There's nothing wrong with that

Jay  24:58  
arguably, you We are doing a service and kindness to the person that put the time and effort into the article about you. I bet the person that wrote that article would sit there and feel says, oh, good to know that the creative thought that they put into that description. And that story was something that you found solace in, in some of your times of need. We don't think about that gratitude that comes with that. So you're doing them a service.

Bobby  25:28  
Here's the other thing and think about the irony of the situation. Here's Gary, and I meant what I said, like Gary is one of the most caring people I've ever met, when it comes to the professional industry of TV media, stuff like that. And think about this, Gary took a couple hours of his time, a week of his time, I mean, whatever it was 40 hours, 50 hours, I don't know how to quantify it, but you took some time to help another human being that person is featured in an article talking about their experience. And now years later, when Gary's having a tough time that article turns around and helps me so in a way, kindness begets kindness, help begets help, like it comes full circle, if I promise you and you shouldn't be doing this, looking for a reward. But I promise you, you're kind to somebody every day. If you help somebody every day, it will come back to you in I don't believe in karma. I don't believe in all kinds of stuff like that, but it will come back to you in a positive way. Now, I want to tell you another story from when I was a cop. I was actually a good cop. There's a lot of cops that are shitty. There's a lot of bad stuff that happens in the United States. There's racism, there's cops beating on people. There's all kinds of stuff. And I'll tell you guys a story. I never forget. I was in the mall, didn't have a gun on and I was walking out of the bathroom, and I started to get surrounded by a bunch of gangbangers and I had a moment like, oh, fuck, coupledom were cussing at me swearing threatening me, you're gonna get it. You're a pig, like a whole deal. And there was a person there who stepped up and said, No, no, no, guys, he's good. He treated me well, and everyone just fucking walked away. And I was like, What the fuck? And I stayed in talk to the dude for a minute. He's like, Listen, man, you probably don't even remember you arrested me once. She's like, but you treated me with so much respect. And I was like, Oh, shit, okay. You never know. Horrible beat down. And I don't even remember what I did. But maybe I told them thank you. Maybe I prep them for the station. Maybe I didn't come home. Maybe I didn't rough up. I mean, I don't know even what it was. He just said I treated him well, and was kind and then it came back around, and I could have lost my life, I would have been on the beat down, that stuff happens because you might not remember what you did for another person, but they will you know what I mean? And one thing I always tried to do is if I did arrest somebody, I can still treat them like kindness like I'm just doing a job. You know what I mean? Gary, like fire rescue with like a little sack of drugs on you. I don't have to be a dickhead I can still be nice about it, I can still say hey, man, I'm just doing my job. Like there are ways to deal with people and still give them some form of respect and it comes back around. So that's what people don't understand. The other thing they don't understand is you never know when it might come back around. Because I always say this, the person that you step over to get to the top might be the same person that you need help from later on. Oh, it happens in my business all the time. They actually rise above you. And believe me, if you shit all over them, they will remember you. I looked at Gary, I mean, Gary's like the ultimate success story for this on the Ultimate Fighter to Gary was driving a van fetching food, sitting with this Canadian idiot through surgery for six hours and working his butt off getting yelled at by people like getting mistreated. Fast forward. 17 years Gary's the fucking boss. So if you were working with Gary on season two, or three or four, I hope he spoke to him with respect, because you might need something from him now. I mean, that's how the world works. You're 100%

Gary  28:52  
right. 100%, right. It's like that. I've so many people that have worked for me or have hired me, you know, like, even recently, like, they used to be my assistant. Now I go work for them. Or and sometimes I hire them. Sometimes they hire me. Like, it's, we say where I'm from you get it, how you live it. You know, if you're out there while and now and in doing wrong, you're gonna get it that way too. You know, if you're out there doing right, be righteous, then you're gonna get it that way too. You know, it's like karma or whatever. You know, everyone's got a different name for it. But if I'm out there robbing people and doing fucked up shit, like, there's a lot of people that want to get me you know, if I'm out there helping people. I'm like, now a lot of people are gonna want to take your life or grow you. Isn't that

Jay  29:29  
a beautiful thing when you treat people? Well, nobody's coming headhunting for you. Yeah,

Bobby  29:33  
you know, an old wrestling coach of mine used to have a phrase about this. He said, arrogance breeds competition. And I was like, what does that mean? He said, Listen, if you're successful, people are going to want to take you down anyway. Don't give them extra reasons. By being arrogant. He's like, just be nice to everybody. Shake your opponent's hand. Like it's essentially from sport. Don't give people bull billboard material. Like, I don't want to be the person. I don't want to be the reason you're waking up every day. Take me down.

Jay  30:00  
Oh yeah, you don't want to be somebody. You don't want to be anybody's origin story.

Bobby  30:06  
Not me like No, no, I'm like, Just be just be nice to people. Like I promise you, it will work out better for you that way. Like, even if you're a dickhead, and you have no interest in being kind to people just be kind because I promise you, you'll get something from it. It's

Jay  30:21  
easier to you don't have to remember about interaction. We think that you know, when we're assholes, we think that that goes away with the person that walked away that you were an asshole to that's not true, because we're not supposed to be their asshole to begin with. And we're holding it somewhere inside ourselves. And we feel horrible for what we did. It's just showing up in different ways, ways that we eat, depression, anxiety, whatever it is, the moment that you start hurting other people, you're taking a portion of that on yourself that you're going to carry with you until you exercise those demons. Well, the

Bobby  30:48  
other thing and I'll circle back to the show, how much does kindness cost was it's not it's something I call free 99. That's it like it's it's nothing. So I'm glad they showed this on the show. They showed a clip of me talking to two girls on the show Claire and Brogan saw that and the context of that was they realized I had a book with Men's Health, they realized I was financially independent and successful. They realized I in there so they were asking me questions. How do I grow my Instagram? How do I make money from sponsorship? Claire works as an accountant, how am I going to prep to quit my job so I can pursue my dream. Now I'm in a house where I have nothing to do. I mean, don't get me wrong. We had filming, we had fights. We had all kinds of stuff. But essentially I'm in a house where I've got time. Hold on this giant truck outside my garage. This is the noise you got to deal with. But hopefully that you can get into the Trading

Jay  31:38  
Academy. We're good. Yeah, okay. It's over.

Bobby  31:42  
I am in a house where at that point, I had nothing else to do. I just finished saying what an awesome dude Gary was he was also a dickhead because he took away your TV. You took away my Magic the Gathering cards, you took away my PlayStation five. Like literally we can stare at the walls and watch paint draw. I

Gary  31:59  
thought you brought your kid suitcase on accident. That was all yours? Yes,

Bobby  32:02  
yes. So I have literally nothing to do at that moment. So what does it cost me to sit and talk to these people and try to help them it literally cost it nothing. Like I said, free 99. That's it. Like it's like people aren't acting like being kind or doing something nice for somebody is expensive or takes a lot of time or a lot of effort. Sometimes it's literally it costs nothing. And the other kicker is you had mentioned earlier to bring this full circle about if you love what you do, guess what I happen to do for a living, which I chose I write for men's health, I do corporate speaking, I want to be an inspiration. So when I get to also do my hobby, or do what I love, like this is actually kind of pain meat. So why wouldn't I take time to help other people. And by doing so I can then also help how many of our millions of people are watching this. And it doesn't have to be every single one of them. But like I said, if one of them, two of them, three of them, find the courage to quit their job, find the courage to be a better dad find the courage to fix her marriage find the courage to go after a dream of these, there's a

Jay  33:03  
there's a really cool side effect of that. It's the positive impact that you have on yourself. When you tell people the great things they do and who they are, or you help them with sage advice and things like that. If there's ever a time that you're giving yourself positive affirmations and self talk, it's that moment, because you're hearing everything you're telling them to do. You're living in that moment, and it's only reinforcing it even more within yourself, it's gonna help you move forward with a stronger foundation,

Gary  33:32  
it makes you put your money where your mouth is to, you know, there's been times I've been trying to really motivate somebody and then I myself was like nagging to do something fat lazy or whatever. And maybe they're called me on it, or I knew they were going to fuck, I gotta get my ass off the couch today because like trying to help this person do something and they're gonna see me just not doing you know, so when Bobby's like he's one of those guys do that I share, like my music and everything with him. And he's always got, you know, some positive to say that, you know, constructive criticism as well. But it's like, you know, it's, he's, he's like this all the time. It's like, not just when he's on TV or on a podcast or something. It's like, you know, that's why we've stayed friends for so long. I think we're very similar. And it's just like, you know, grew up very differently, but like, still the same type of person, you know, and luckily, we made it through the cop shit. And I made it through this shit that I went through to like, get to a place where like, you know, we're still alive.

Bobby  34:23  
Yet where we're the same though is that we both genuinely want people to win. Like when I say Gary genuinely cares about every single person that's been on the Ultimate Fighter. I mean it he genuinely cares. And it's probably hard for him, like put words in your mouth scary to watch people lose. Like you literally want every single person on that show to get a contract and to win. I'm the same way I want everybody to win. And just we live in a society where if you're winning, it means I'm losing and I can't stand that I want everybody to win. I want to have the tallest building in town, but I don't want to have it by tearing down other people's Buildings, I just want to build mine a little bit taller. I want to learn from other people. And I said this in a bunch of media outlets. The hardest part for me being on the show was having to watch fights and watching someone have to lose, because I wanted every single person to win. Like that was difficult, you know, and I know Gary feels the same way. And so like Gary with your music with your shoes. I mean, let's talk about shoes. I don't care about shoes, you get a new pair of shoes, it makes me happy for you, bingo. Because you're doing what you love. And you're collecting what you love. So I hope you get 1000s of pairs of shoes. Like that's just and it could be building Legos. It could be your landscaping, like why can't we just be happy for people and doing what they love Whether we like it or not,

Gary  35:43  
if people are in competition with the people around them all the time, which I never understood you know, I you know, I've little t shirt line and stuff and northern shirts is hype your friends like I'm taking telling people about you guys all the time. Some people like my boy Adrian just went to more Emmys yesterday like bragged about that for two days. Like Like, I love the fact that my friends are successful. And like, it makes me look cool makes me feel good. Like we help each other like we rise together. Like you name a problem. I could call somebody right now and fucking fix it. I guarantee it because I'm a huge circle of people that trust me and that I trust and because all these like small circle people, but that's not me at all, like my book and circles the globe. Like I want to be able to land in Norway in the call my friend or land in Australia, and at five people they go have a beer with like, that's up I want you know, I don't want to be like, Oh, I'm so worried about someone screwed me over, whatever, I'm gonna have this small circle. Yeah, I get fucked over all the time, they're already paid me back the money they owed me I could retire like it happens. But I'm not going to change the way that I act based on you know, that kind of shit. Like every girlfriend I ever have accused me of cheating immediately, because her ex boyfriend fucking cheat. Like, I'm not going to do that to other people. Johnny over here, fucks me over Billy over here doesn't mean he's going to do the same thing. So it's hard to like, be that way I think and I struggle with it sometimes. But like, I'm gonna keep putting myself out there to do that. And the good outweighs the bad. Like I could go anywhere do anything like I have so many opportunities and doors that open up just because of you know that way a few times to get slammed in my face or get fucked over. It's like it's not even close to wasn't yours. Good. Always.

Jay  37:08  
Every time I found out after the fact that something was presented to me that I really wanted or thought I wanted, I found out after the fact that that was somebody else's gold every single time every single time because until I found podcasting and a way to affect change through this. It was everybody else's gold and it was everybody else's high. Every time I finished it every time I got it the material item or the place or the vacation or the you know the Audi or this or that every single time temporary high temporary high right back down and crashed down because it was somebody else's gold somebody else's success. Somebody else's picture. You know, that was painted for me. And I was trying to do dot next to it to make it match doesn't work that way. You gotta go back to being you 100%

Bobby  37:50  
You Let's talk. Let's talk about that for a second. I'm going to talk about people I like people I don't like I like you guys. You're my friends. I enjoy your company. Gary. We've talked a lot true or false. What kind of truck do I drive? Ford? F 150? No, you have no idea. The answer is no fucking idea. I know what? It doesn't matter. Nobody fucking cares. It's not influencing your decision to be friends with me or not friends with me. Yep. Now let's say the person I don't know. They don't give a fuck either. I'm out here spending a bunch of money to buy a car I don't even care for to impress a bunch of people who I don't know. And if I didn't know them, I wouldn't like them anyway. Yep. And if they were to be the type of person to judge me on the truck, I drive, I wouldn't want them in my life. So why do I give a shit? I would rather I talked about paying a big car payment. My truck cost me 400 bucks a month. I've got cloth seats. I don't have the big ass truck like it is as clean as you can get great. You know what? Maybe I could have got the truck for 1000 A month 1200 A month I'd rather take that extra 800 bucks and spend it on something I want if I'm carrying on buying shoes that would bring me more happiness if you're me by Magic the Gathering card.

Jay  39:02  
I love this by the way that that caught me completely off guard and actually made me love you even more as a human. Because that just shows that you're 100% you all the time it does not matter. You find happiness and what you find happiness in because yeah, and

Bobby  39:21  
why Why should I? Why should I? Why should I care what you think and by the way, the Magic the Gathering thing. You can call me a fucking nerd. You can make fun of me. You can think like I'm the only person in the world that does. So Magic the Gathering called Wizards of the Coast. Do you have any idea how much fucking money they make? Like you have no idea the amount of people who play that game who by the way, hide it because it's nerd shit, but it's like there are a bunch of people there's actually the show called game nights put on by command cast that has all kinds of famous people that come on and play Magic gathering and all of a sudden you realize

Jay  39:58  
it now it is cool to be in there. and best friends have ever had in my life where d&d players grown up the coolest and nicest people, the least bullying the the most open minded, the most creative are ones that play games like you're describing. That's why I actually love that is because whereas it doesn't have to be my bag. But again, being happy for somebody that's happy with what they're doing is how we're supposed to be. And it's cool to see your face light up as soon as you started naming off each one of those types.

Bobby  40:23  
So So here's the other thing, the happiest people and I say this as a dad, the happiest people in the world are kids. Yes. Like I took my kids to the Gamestop the other day, and I bought them some figurines, they love this anime show called Seven Deadly Sins, I buy stickers, it's really good. And the little one, two and a half year old, can't even conceptually understand what's going on the TV show, but he watches it because he recognizes it. He starts clapping and squealing and literally he starts fucking dancing middle of Gamestop out of joy. It's beautiful. The happiest people in the world. My question to you both is what would it take you to be given in public for you to clap and dance and cry and sing it? Like just just total joy? Like what? $10 million.

Gary  41:09  
And we were talking about this right before you came on today. But Jay was sharing some of his music with me because we both do music and he was talking about how like, he acts like that when he's doing music. I mean, like, you like that's act like that. Who cares? You know, fucking if anybody thinks I look stupid welcome. Fight me. Yeah.

Bobby  41:27  
So for me to talk about the kid saying those are the things that I loved as a kid. You know what, I love this kid, he man and the masters who didn't man that was the best. You know how fucking happy I was when I went on eBay and bought a bunch of old he man toys so I could play with them and watch the episode with my kids and see the setup Castle Grayskull was another one. I loved the Thundercat who didn't love the Thundercats to watch the Thundercats at my Kinnarps north. I loved as a kid Star Wars Thundercats he man Conan the Barbarian, Lagos, why would I all of a sudden give those up when I turned 15 or 16? And because I'm an old man, now I have to wear New Balance sneakers and colors. I got some like

Gary  42:11  
dope New Balance, but fuck the collar? No. So

Jay  42:14  
I saw a study like yeah, sorry, I saw a study that says that there was like getting this situation to older people and imagination and the strength that it has in our the role that it plays in our lives. In our overall well being there was a study and I'm not even gonna be able to tell you where it was or what it was. But essentially, they had taken a group of say 60 year old humans, men, women, whatever, and they put them in an environment where everything was as if it were the 50s the music, the entire living condition, everything was that way and they lived in it for an extended period of time. And the phenomenons that they saw were verbal acuity they were able to walk without canes, they were able to you know enjoy themselves more or less medications, all sorts of bizarre stuff but it was the fact that they were utilizing their imagination living in the world where they felt the most comfortable or they were their happiest and it had such an impact on him

Bobby  43:14  
you're back to being a kid so here's here's me when I was a kid just an example of magic gathering. It's not a cheap game to play like a box of cards is 100 plus dollars and it can range up to so much yeah, there's a new set coming out called Double masters and a box is going to cost $335 I could not afford that is a kid my parents the odd time would buy me a couple of packages and then over time because you make a deck of cards I could put together a deck and I could kind of trade and I could play but we had no money so I wasn't the kid getting all the things right well now I'm in a situation where I'm not even looking at packages I'm buying I'm not buying flicking boxes I'm buying tastes you better believe I'm a puck and enjoy that like when I walk into the store there's a store in here called Paragon gates. I am like a seven year old with a fucking unlimited budget do you know how fun it would be for me to go back in time and give seven year old little kid Bobby Maximus credit card and say you go into Toys R Us and buy whatever the fuck you want. Oh,

Jay  44:24  
look look at Oh, this is me doing what I never did as a kid because just like yourself and grew up with nothing. We'd have a refrigerator we had a cooler we voted shut

Bobby  44:35  
that shit down. Like if I showed you the house I grew up in you could buy it now for about $60,000 You wouldn't buy mine it was okay fair enough. Two bedrooms one bathroom some of the some of them were supposed to be curtains were like blank and so my my son he says that are we rich? Fuck yeah, he was I don't think we're rich like my friends has Baba Baba buys like why do you think we're rich? Like because we have a garage So, all right, so like, you know, you can't see it at home, but like, if you look around my garage, I got all kinds of workout equipment. I got signed memorabilia on the wall, I got a cold plunge in here, I got a freezer in my garage event. I'm fucking loaded as far as I'm concerned. Now it's not I'm not Bill Gates, I'm not traditional your your debt, your definition of loaded like man, I'm happy. So I'd rather focus on that and enjoy it back to the truck. I don't want to spend my money on a truck and give a fuck about a truck. But it makes me so happy to be able to buy toys to be able to buy my Magic the Gathering crabs and give a shoot whether you like them or not like whether you like them or not, go buy your shoes, go buy your podcast, Mike, go buy whatever you gotta buy.

Jay  45:45  
I think I think that's how we're supposed to live our life. A lot of times I the more that I concentrated on money, the less that I had for the longest time, the more it was a struggle, the more it was all these different things. The more that I started becoming kind and not caring about money is the more than money appeared in my life. It came around in different ways. It showed up here it showed up there. It wasn't. It wasn't the same mechanism but it certainly is supposed to work that way. Yeah,

Bobby  46:09  
so another story for you. I'm a huge WWE fan huge like it like basically formed my entire life philosophy.

Jay  46:15  
You know what I mean? We had le Nighthawk on the other day.

Bobby  46:18  
I like that. But as a kid, how many WWE events do you think I went to?

Gary  46:22  
00 Fucking

Jay  46:24  
and you were in the capital of wrestling where it all started Canada.

Bobby  46:29  
Yeah, couldn't afford that. Go to a WrestleMania I couldn't go to a Monday Night Raw. We didn't have the opportunity to do that shit. Do you know how fucking fun it was when Monday night rock into Salt Lake City me and my boy sat front fucking row. Oh my god, I was on another planet Gary. Like it was like, This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to be in my entire life. Now, I also happen to be friends with a bunch of people in the WWE. So we got to go backstage, we got to hang out. A couple of the guys came to the gym like dude, like it was in my it's funny. My kid was 11 at the time, it was right before COVID But I like took it moment and like, Dude, I just want you to understand how special this is like listen, you soak this good for you. Like you laugh, you dance. You like yell you pull people you get into it. Like trust me. I've never This is my I'm 40 fucking years old. And this is my first time going to Monday Night Raw. And I've been a WWE fan for years. It's the first time I could really afford to do something. Holy shit. Dude, you better enjoy this. So you damn right like I acted like a fool.

Gary  47:34  
I did the same thing.

Bobby  47:35  
I wore the gear I man. I was like I had one of those foam fingers. You know what? I love that? Yeah,

Gary  47:40  
I got it. I bought it Jimmy Superfly Snuka shirt and I took my nephew same thing I was probably close to 38 years old before I went to one and I've gotten a few since I got chairs right over there. You get to keep your chair like that's his fucking cool. But yeah, I was like, I was acting like a kid. I wasn't really into it, like leading up to that. But when I was there, I was doing the same shit. I was fucking fooling everybody and like I would just you know, like didn't matter everybody's acting crazy. Like every walk of life like I don't know it's it's a lot of fun like but

Bobby  48:08  
why why not enjoy it because now you can afford to do that or now you can like I live life to just do all the things I never kid as a kid that I agree

Jay  48:18  
January I agree. I love that because that's that's a last like three years it took me a long time to get on the train towards happiness. It was really easy to stay in that shell for a long time. You know, that's that's how we excuse me that's that's how we we feel safe.

Bobby  48:36  
You want You want me to tell you something that I learned today that I appreciate more than anything when we were kids. Man I had to wait till Saturday morning for my cartoon to come haul not anymore. I had to wait until like everyone knows the pain of having to like rewind the cassette tape to listen to a song again or when the little you know you don't you know my judgment of like how old you are is hand somebody a pencil and a cassette tape. Right? I did it yesterday. How we use do things. Do you know how cool it is to go on Spotify and just play whatever I want. Do you know how cool it is to like I wanted to watch the last dragon this morning with my kids and just pop on the Amazon fire stick and search it and its air. Oh my god. This is like the greatest thing because I grew up Gary YouTube. We grew up through tough times where it was like you couldn't listen to the music you wanted to listen to watch the shows you wanted to. We still made it happen. But now I am so grateful for this stuff you don't even know like people complain about how expensive Netflix is for like 11 bucks a month. This is the coolest fucking thing in a history. Like I can watch seven deadly sins. I can watch Castlevania I can watch Thundercats I can watch HeMan right

Jay  49:43  
is on in the living room right now. It's one of the it's one of those shows the movies that just plays throughout this house because of things like that because I didn't have the ability just like you said to be able to pull it up as a kid.

Bobby  49:55  
Territory test tapes. Yeah, my favorite Marvel character is blade the vampire hunter I can go watch late one blade two three random cartoon if I want to check out what's going on blade now I can like Google on the internet like winds blade new movie coming up like up dude. I'm living a dream right now

Gary  50:13  
like the snipes blade.

Jay  50:15  
Yeah, did did. Is there a different blade now is there like

Bobby  50:19  
an axe? I can't No, no, I can't pronounce his name. Maya Sherif Ali is the new blade. He played Remi in House of Cards. He's a phenomenal actor,

Gary  50:31  
guys. Yeah, like, like House of Cards. While

Bobby  50:33  
I was I was a little troubled. When I found out that Wesley Snipes wasn't gonna be blade anymore. I'm like, There's no one. And when they announced his name, I'm like, okay, I'm good. Like, and everyone was like, Okay, we're good with this. So but but just like as a as a point that gets pretty cool that I can just go do all that stuff. Now, as a kid, I couldn't. So like I also try to enjoy stuff. Gary, you talked about the show. You talked about how hard it was. We were away from our families. We were making sacrifices. We had to do filming stuff. There was a skit blah, blah, fuckin blah. You know how I look at it. I got to be on TV, which is cool as fuck, right? I got to hang out with 15 of the best fighters on the planet. You're talking to a person that loves fighting. So I got to go in a house in a room with 15 of the most talented people in the world doing what I do. It might be the best training camp I've ever been a part of. Number three, I got to meet all kinds of incredible people two of the greatest female fighters of all time, and the best part I had a fucking list. I woke up in the morning thought was Bobby Maximus want to eat today? I want to fucking Froot Loops. I put Froot Loops on the list. They magically appear to my cubby the next fucking day I want to ribeye Oh ribeye appeared. In a cubby I wanted Nutella. Nutella appeared in a cubby, you have any idea how good that feels? Now I'm living in a world I'm a tough times man. I gotta get my car. I gotta go to the grocery store. I got to check out like I had Instacart don't you I had an army of fucking servants at my disposal to get shit for me. So it's like I can sit here and I can complain about how rough this experience was. It was pretty fucking dope. Let me tell you that you know what I mean? So like I also tried to appreciate stuff on a day to day basis because what would you and by the way the people on the show and there were a couple of people like this and I couldn't fucking stand up Gary you know who they were I'm not going to call people out by name the people that were sitting there complaining about it were the people that before the show would given their fucking kidney to be on the show. So don't you dare come around here complaining around me now. Yeah, I

Gary  52:34  
mean it's be grateful it's tough. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, it's I try not to judge those people because you don't know what they're going through and I just people just complain like some people's like I complain a lot is like a way to like vent my frustration so it looks like I'm bitching a lot but it's kind of like

Bobby  52:50  
yeah, it's definitely gonna break we'll do yeah hearing they're gonna put this you're gonna put this line in one of your wraps remember when you want it what you have? Yeah, I have so that's a fundamental principle of how I live my life. Remember, you would have fucking killed someone to get what you have now. Remember you were in your bed like on your knees with your little hands balled up praying to whatever maker you believe it for what you have now select when you have it, fucking enjoy it a smile. I love that. Gary's gonna hate this. I gotta tell you a story of who changed my perspective in my life on this, Gary, I don't want to hear your negative bullshit when I bring his name up to Drake Schultz who is drink I've had a bunch of really cool experiences my life I've got to meet a bunch of famous people went on some really fun dates traveled a little bit because I fought in the UFC. I've been in the media, I've got to do some really cool things in the 2000s. I didn't want to ask people to take pictures with them. I didn't want to be that guy. I didn't want to overly take advantage of things. I didn't want to use my D level celebrity status to get a free meal or get in the club because I had a chip on my shoulder and Gary, you can relate to this or like I'm earning everything. No one's giving me shit for free. Baba, Baba, bah, I'm a hustler. Whatever. Now then I see this motherfucker Drake Drake built a basketball court in his house. He has his own league with like NBA referees. He sit in front row at all the Raptors games, he's flying Golden State into run practice at his house. Like he is living his best life like a damn kid and he doesn't give a shit and he's one of the most famous rich people on the planet. So when I saw him doing that, I'm like, it's good for me to do this too. I'm gonna enjoy it's that's just you know what I mean? Like if I had the means you're damn right. Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson are coming over to my house to play basketball. Do you know well that would be you know it'd be to sit front row at a Toronto Raptors game to like I've also said this Gary, this is where this dream was born and I make enough money. I'm gonna hire Method Man and Redman to follow me around for a week and just wrap me in and out of the whole foods. wrap me love it. Oh

Gary  55:00  
to the target. You could get ready to do that for $89 right now but to be

Bobby  55:05  
sitting in the backseat of my truck rapping about my driving, do you know how fucking that would be amazing. We hire media.

Jay  55:12  
Everybody needs a soundtrack. Everybody needs a sound like a live soundtrack. I want that too. I'm with you. I

Gary  55:18  
did. I'd been around for a week once more to pay light

Bobby  55:20  
to pay like ice cube and you're like ice cube, you just got to be Craig, for today, you're gonna hang out on my front lawn, you're gonna be like, Oh my God.

Gary  55:30  
Yeah, that's Jay Z tree.

Jay  55:34  
So I want to I we've we've been doing this for about an hour now. And I want to I want to extend the invitation. First off the to have you come back on anytime you want. I'm sure Gary agrees with me, you guys have known each other forever. But I would be remiss not to point out something. And that was that you were discussing point about your son, and you told him to stop and take it all in and to enjoy that moment. And I think that that's something that we could all take as advice. And what I think that you did was you gave him a core memory, you called it out, you gave him away point in life. And you said you know what, this is one that you need to pay attention to, and you're going to want to reference again. And I think that that's something that everybody should try to do in life is throw up those flags so that they can look back on their life and see the path that they've traveled and what to be grateful for, for where they're

Bobby  56:23  
at. So I can leave you with this. You want to know the secret to real happiness. A lot of people think self care is taken a bath is self care is like cleaning your truck or cleaning whatever. No, here's where you're going to do real self care is doing something frivolous for yourself that is non productive that you

Gary  56:43  
love Kotaku.

Jay  56:46  

Gary  56:50  
you really like cocaine

Bobby  56:54  
cascone It's a perfect YOLO I can't do it.

Gary  56:58  
My nose doesn't work.

Bobby  57:00  
We're living Jay, in a world that's like, You got to wake up at 430 Rise and grind hustle all this shit cool. Whatever. Every day, I take time, maybe it's 30 minutes, maybe it's an hour, maybe it's 20 minutes to do something completely frivolous for myself. That doesn't matter. Maybe play with match Gathering cards. Yesterday, I played god of war on the PlayStation for an hour, it could be organizing my shoes again, like it doesn't matter. Do something frivolous that you really, really love. It's not productive in any way that you just enjoy. It's not tied to your income. And the second is then take a minute after and be super fucking grateful for it that you had the time to do that. And you will be a remarkably happier human and it's simple, and it's free. You'll enjoy the hell out of it.

Gary  57:46  
Cocaine is not Siri, what are you talking?

Jay  57:48  
Oh God, all right. I'm gonna get a shirt that says that cocaine is not free. Hey, thanks so much. I genuinely appreciate you coming on. I can't wait to have you back on Gary. I'm sure you got some things to say

Gary  58:04  
shit. Drake's pretty cool as music snap. I don't really do cocaine. I'll show you my belly if you don't believe me. And speaking of that, anybody that's older and kind of struggling about staying in shape or getting in shape. You should check out everything that Bobby's got going on. He's really motivational to our era of people that hit their 40s and are like fuck like it's over. I can't do things like follow along with what he's doing. Yeah, please give a gift that isn't Yeah, it's like not everybody thinks dieting is in shit you hate and eating four leaves of lettuce and going to bed hungry and you can't work out like it sucks like find something like boxing or punch a bag like do find something you'd like to be active eat good food you know and he could take it from here but it's someone to follow in motivate to like not you know be such a fat piece of shit like we are when we hit 40

Bobby  58:56  
Yeah, so so so something on that note I wasn't going to say this but it's coming up there was a versus if for those you that are like live under a rock versus his musical Hip Hop r&b competition where they pit two artists against each other and they freestyle they do whatever so there was a versus where it's the locks versus Dipset so you got Styles P J to kiss chic looch against camera on jewel Santana. Jim Jones like the whole deal, right? And Jada kiss comes out and fucking kills it like Jada kisses. He's a vampire. He has an aged like, he just stole the whole show. I'm watching this like these other guys look like they fallen off and Jada kisses. Like maybe better than he's ever been like, how's he doing this? I go over to his Instagram page. Some motherfucker. Here's working out every day. He's like doing pull ups. He's running. He's doing CrossFit. He's doing this bar stars like Harlem playground workout things. That's what it is the message for you in this the lesson is that he's building this on a foundation of fitness. You see if you're more fit, you can do the thing you love. Have more you can be less stress free, you can be happier. Like it's a great lesson. Whatever you do working out will make you or fitness shouldn't say working out because now you're picturing being in a gym, some level of fitness and health will make you better at it and able to do the thing that you love way more. So Gary, you're right, like whoever you are, you want to be ever better podcaster exercise you want to be better at making movies exercise, you want to be a better actor exercise, you want to be a better lawyer exercise, you want to be a better dad exercise like sets.

Jay  1:00:30  
I love that. Well, thank you so much, Bobby, where can everybody find you? It's Bobby

Bobby  1:00:35  
So first of all, I want to thank you guys, I'm humbled and honored and grateful that you take your time to speak with me. It's funny, talking about what we did in the podcasts, there was a time again, I would have killed to be on a podcast. I remember the first one I did and it was so excited. And so I tried to treat everyone like that. So thank you so much for thinking enough of me to have me on here. I'm grateful. I love what you guys do and I just know that you've made me really happy and I appreciate now as far as to where to find me there are two ways the first way which is recommended is just at Bobby Maximus. That's Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, all those that's number one number two, which I do not recommend because bad things happen to people go in your bathroom at midnight turn off the lights and say Bobby Maximus into the mirror five times. Again don't fucking do that. It might not end up the way I hope

Jay  1:01:23  
it wakes you up real time what do you do it man? What the fuck? Stop calling me

Bobby  1:01:34  
Yeah, so those are the two names if you want to get a hold of

Jay  1:01:37  
Eric Candyman style and at Bobby Maximus nev

thanks so much man. And remember everybody be cool and keep learning bro. So cool.


Bobby MaximusProfile Photo

Bobby Maximus

BJJ Black Belt / TUF Season 30 / UFC Vet / IBJFF World Master Champ / Men’s Health Best Selling Author

From 2008-2017 Bobby Maximus was the General Manager, Training Director, and Lead Seminar Instructor at Gym Jones, elite strength and conditioning facility in Salt Lake City, Utah. Bobby’s lovely wife, Lisa Maximus, was the Head of the Women’s Program at Gym Jones. They have since moved on and have created a world-class brand and gym of their own. The "Maximus" family of brands is a rising force in the world of fitness and exercise. The couple has 2 young boys and understands the unique challenges of balancing fitness and family.

During his career, Bobby has been featured in numerous workout publications, conducted many seminars, and worked with numerous Tier One Assets and Special Forces groups within the United States military. Bobby is also a regular contributor to Men’s Health Magazine and is the Keeper Of Authenticity at Lalo Tactical.

In the past, Bobby was a police officer serving as a member of the Peel Regional Police Force as well as The Toronto Police Service. He spent time on the road as part of the Toronto Anti-Violence Intervention Strategy Team and also as a Defensive Tactics Instructor.

He has also competed in numerous fight competitions across North America. In 2006 he fought in UFC 58, UFC 62, and Ultimate Fight Night 5, where he won Submission of the Night. Robert also starred in Spike TV's The Ultimate Fighter series, was the Ring of Fire light-heavyweight champion, and fought for an amateur world kickboxing championship.

In addition to his policing, training, and fighting career, Bobby earned a Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Western Ontario with a double major in Psychology and English. He also earned a Bachelor of Education graduate degree from Lakehead University.